---
NB. Being a rude and illmannered kind of person, I didn't get anyone's
permission before quoting them in this file. I have now removed the email
addresses. If you object, or even want your address replaced, please let me
know.
---

It doesn't matter how deep you fish - it's how you wiggle your worm!

It's not how big it is, but how well you scrape the sides.

   "The purpose of writing is to inflate weak ideas, obscure pure
reasoning, and inhibit clarity.  With a little pratice, writing can be
an intimidating and impenetrable fog!"  - Bill Watterson's Calvin.

	I stayed up all night playing poker with tarot cards.
	I got a full house and four people died.  -- Steven Wright

God is real .... unless declared an integer

Jesus may love you, but I think you're garbage wrapped in skin.

"Maturity, an unruffled temperament, a sense of humour
and an ability to deal with people who are sometimes impatient,
confused, or unrealistic in their expectations, will all be useful."
- Job ad for Tech Support officer at Brum Uni.

A cat in despondency sighed
And resolved to commit suicide
So he got under the wheels of nine automobiles
And after the last one, he died.


Newsgroups: alt.sex
Subject: FUN DOING IT ON....

I love doing it on the keyboard!!!!!                                    
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A friend said this, on the way back to the dorms:
	"I'm not a slut, I was just bored!!"

INCEST - A Game for all the family...

Smile, they said, life could be worse - so I did and it was...

"Businesses may come and go, but religion will last forever, for in no
other endeavor does the consumer blame himself for product failure."

"Women and cats do as they damned well please, and men and dogs had best
learn to live with it."

A statistician was hunting in the woods. He saw a deer and fired
but missed  1 foot to the left. He fired again and missed,
one foot to the right. "I HIT IT!!" he cried.

Constants aren't. Variables won't. Protected mode isn't.

"MS-DOS isn't dead, it just smells that way."
        -- Henry Spencer

Seen in TV Guide, describing the Star Trek episode _Amok_Time_:
   "Mr. Spock succumbs to a powerful mating urge and
    nearly kills Captain Kirk."

Jesus rose from the dead and the apostles came unto him saying "How's
Elvis?"

"If you've got half a mind to use Fortran, that's all you need"
	-- Chris Loftus, CS dept UWA

"I tried phone sex once, but the holes were too small."

The Pick-Up Line
	by Jeff Vogel

i'll come inside the mighty oak
		i'll spray out of a bus
	i'll drip my joosh upon the koosh
i find at toys r' us

	for i was born to spread my seed
give sperm without a care
	i'll climb the washington monument
and spread it everywhere

		my seed's inside the french fries
you find at mickey d's
	i'll mount with joy the wooden box
that's filled with killer bees

i'm horny as a mountain goat
	i think it's really great
		so now i wonder if you'd like
to join me on a date

					- Jeff Vogel

"My advice to anyone wanting to learn X.  Get pissed first."
	- Clive King, UWA

"It costs a lot of money to look as cheap as I do" -- Dolly Parton

"I will not be brushed, combed, teased, permed, shampooed, 
conditioned, or blow-dried!  My hair is my own."
           - Number Six at the Village Barber Shop

Remember - small children can choke on peanuts. There's a handy hint.

	Commitment, n.:
		Commitment can be best illustrated by a breakfast of
                ham and eggs. The chicken was involved, the pig was
                committed.

Buy them a banana and tell them to take a break and evolve.

Looks like a bout of romanticism.  These can be nasty.  I'd advise
taking two aspirin and going to bed early.  Preferably with someone
else.

I would rather rule in hell, than be just another number in heaven.

"Lord, grant me the strength to accept the things I cannot change, the
courage to try to change the things I can, and the wisdom to hide the
bodies of the people I had to kill because they pissed me off."

Son, all the beautiful, intelligent, healthy young
women are taken. It's a basic law of the universe, and
if you don't like it, go somewhere else.
				- Mr. Johnson, 1906-1992

"Why don't I look that good?"
"Yes dear, why don't you?"

A little rudeness and disrespect can elevate a meaningless interaction
to a battle of wills and add drama to an otherwise dull day.  - Calvin

"How do you parents feel, knowing they're raising a toadstool?
I can only guess you stay in the dark and keep yourself moist for this
purpose."

"And just how could you make such a claim, Terrance? It is obvious from
your missives that you lack sophistication. And judging from your
greasy features it is doubtful if you even recognise suave as a brand
of toiletry, let alone a polished exterior. No doubt you think your
home-grown manners are better than those of the swell folks in the
Lillian Vernon catalogues that you masturbate to in the dingy blood
donor centres you habituate, but they aren't. If the pages aren't
stuck together, perhaps you could examine the nose-hair clippings and
ponder their implications.
Don't let the door hit you in the ass on the way out."
	- Dan Hillman

Disagreements > /dev/fuckoff 2>&1

Pick-ups in the supermarket:
Man: Those are artichokes aren't they?
Woman: Yes
Man: How do you cook them?
Woman: You boil them in water.
Man: Fancy a shag then?
	- uk.singles

"I can compare hardware installation in PCs and Macs, and have come to
the conclusion that if you work on PCs, you must think life is cheap"
	- John F. Woods

"A man is as great as the things that make him angry."

"Jingoism,if it wasn't invented in the states,it was probably bought
by them for too much money."
	- Exquisite Corpse

Fresco's Discovery:
        If you knew what you were doing you'd probably be bored.

Everyone talks about apathy, but no one does anything about it.

Sex without love is an empty experience, but, as empty experiences go,
it's one of the best.
                -- Woody Allen

Boling's postulate:
        If you're feeling good, don't worry.  You'll get over it.

Your conscience never stops you from doing anything.  It just stops you
from enjoying it.

A great many people think they are thinking when they are merely
rearranging their prejudices.
                -- William James

People often find it easier to be a result of the past than a cause of
the future.

Reporter (to Mahatma Gandhi): Mr Gandhi, what do you think of
        Western Civilization?
Gandhi: I think it would be a good idea.

"Come forth and win my love," said God unto Moses. But he came fifth, and
won a toaster.

"And everybody was left awestruck, but not speechless."
	- anon

"I think it's high time for some random shootings on the Information
Highway."
	- Mark Nolte

"You can even teach a gold fish to play the piano, given enough voltage."
	- Clive King, UWA

"I want to die peacefully in my sleep like my grandfather.  Not screaming
in terror like his passengers."
	- Jim Harkins

Q: What do you need to reunite Nirvana?
A: A double-barreled shotgun.

Q: What's red and white and has more brains than Kurt Cobain?
A: His wall.

Vegetarians are cannibals.

After several minutes of utterly dull conversation I began to think of
her not as a woman but as a human, then not as a human but as an
animal, then not as an animal but as a source of high-grade protein.
                              Mark Gooley

MICROSOFT=Most Intelligent Customers Realise Our Software Only Fools
Teenagers

Most implemetations of SVR4 use Veritas' JFS. Sun are doing their own. Who
says you can't make wheels rounder :-).
	- Colin Campbell

"Sure, alcohol kills brain cells.  But only the weak ones."

Wrong - sex before marriage is fine as long as you don't block the aisle.
	- Doug Sewell

"My wife is not a lesbian and neither is my son. I've never had sex
with a man and neither has my wife."
	- hate mail to gay rights organisation

But then, I'm only 50. Things may well get a bit much for me when I
reach the gasping heights of senile decrepitude of which old Andy
Woodward speaks with such feeling.
        - Chris Malcolm

Post-coital put-downs No.2:
Of course you made my toes curl - I still have my tights on!

"Do the Atheists Really Think the Egyptians could have built
great monuments like Stonehenge without the help of God!?"
	- alt.atheism.satire

Complaints regarding this posting should be addressed to one of your
friends who complains that they don't get enough mail.

Useful phrases for Gateways supermarket:
"You try and push that trolley up my bottom once more and I'll ram this
courgette down your throat sideways!"
"Excuse me, can I have some of those tomatoes or are you mounting a 24 hour
guard on them?"
"I wonder if you could help me? I'm trying to work out your IQ on this
calculator and I'm not sure how to get fractions...?"
"Are you shopping here or have you just fallen off the cabbages shelf?"
"Pardon me, does your blood clean off trolleys easily?"
	- Me

New Age thinking - truly an oxymoron for the '90s.

Yea, though I walk through the Valley of Death
I will fear no evil....
'cause I'm the meanest bastard in the valley!
	- Sexbat

"...If I wanted something cold and unresponsive, there are ex-boyfriends
I could call."
	- Angi Long on necrophilia

"Please forget that system(3) exists as often as possible."
	- Andre Beck

"...If we are adults, we ought to be able to deal with the world without
the crusts cut off."
	- Terry Pratchett

"I want to be in the Sisters of Mercy,
 I want dry ice all around me.
 I want cheek bones like the grim reaper,
 God, I wish my voice was deeper."  Sideburns - by Scratch.

It isn't what they say about you, it's what they whisper.

Because, among the people who read this newsgroup, you are granted the
same respect as would be granted, say, your average root fungus. Not only
are your language skills highly suspect, not only do you refuse to answer
the most basic of questions about your qualifications and/or background,
not only are you posting from AOL, you are annoying, your information is
often wrong or unsubstantiated, and you have this air of blithe idiocy
that makes people with more than eight operating neurons want to put you
in a small envelope and mail you back and forth between people in
Washington, D.C. until the Post Office finally sticks you in some pile of
undelivered mail, where you would then remain until the weight of
accumulating mail compresses you into a small lump of peat, at which
point you would be ground into mulch and spread over someone's garden,
thus gaining in death what you failed to obtain in life; a useful purpose
on this planet.
	- Rob Furr

"I might look good in ribbons, but I look better after you've had a bottle
of vodka."
	- A.J.Whitehead

"Once again the lamp post of life cocks its leg up on my dog"
"Once more the digestive biscuit of my happiness crumbles and falls into
the tea of utter despair"
	- Me

"Roxanne, you don't have to put on the red light, but your slinky rubber
thing might go down well."
	- Simon Thorneycroft

"Live dull, think 'why bother?' and leave a note saying goodbye"

"Do I scare you? Do you want me to?"
	- Wayne's World

"I LOVED Far and Away --- Tom Cruise got beat up a whole lot in that one"
	- Marjean Stewart

"If you think Bon Jovi sounds like The Mission, I'd say that you've been
ordering the wrong kind of mushrooms on your pizza."
	- CKD
"Obviously.  However, *I* would like the address of the pizza parlor."
	- Sourcerer

"I don't know whether you have any rights before you're born. All I know is
that being born again doesn't entitle you to twice as many."
	-A. Whitney Brown "The Big Picture: Bush v. Roe v. Wade"

"Old goths never die. They only look that way."
	- Peter Still

"our local 'rock tavern' dj cut up the wigfield cd with a jigsaw and nailed
the bits to the wall. bon jovi have joined it there."
	- Tony Blews

"In fact, i'm French (Anybody's perfect !!!)"
	- Gallic correspondant on Dominion list

"If you have a criminal record there's probably not much point applying."
	- soc.culture.australia FAQ on immigration

">God bless,
 >  Patrick
 Satan take you,
    Ryan"
	- alt.atheism.satire

"Demand code 'yesterday', and it will crash tomorrow."
	- druid

"> WHY did my fiance of three years still leave
 > me??????????!?!?!?!??!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!
She didn't like excessive punctuation?"
	- Lars P. Fischer, soc.couples

"'Windows for Dummies'; says it all, really."
	- Gary Barnes

"Don't think of it as a 'new' computer, think of it as 'obsolete-ready'"
	- Roger Ivie

	The next time an advertisement is shoved in your face as an
utterly irrelevant post to your favorite newsgroup, wouldn't it feel
good to hunt down the advertisement's author, walk up to him, and
announce, "Hi!  I'm going to mount your head on this stick as a warning
to other Net idiots, but I would like to stab you to death with this
salad fork first."?
	- Scott Davies

"Actually, the only truly intuitive interface is the nipple."
	- Jay Vollmer

"If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried."

"Marriage is like burning the house down to toast the bread."

"Women are like a particularly difficult game of chess played blindfold,
in which both sides spend most of their time in check and just when you
think you're about to mate, so to speak, you find you were actually playing
solitaire all along."

"I'm sure you look very beautiful with the sunlight streaming through your
ears."

"Since coming to Wales, I've started to see sheep in a whole new light;
torchlight, mostly."

"Someone, somewhere said something like this :-
You will regret the things you did in your past, but not so much as the
things you never did.
I think it's really deep, so I may just have to go and have a drink."
	- Whisky Dave, alt.gothic

"And doesn't it say something weird about the 90's when having your
credit card ready is an acceptable type of foreplay??? :)"
	- Amy Ward, alt.sysadmin.recovery

"There once was a gay from Khartoum
Who took a lesbian to his room.
   They argued all night
   As to who had the right
To do what, with which, and to whom."

"I like pagers.  Other people's pagers, that is."
	- Vicki Brown, alt.sysadmin.recovery

"(5) Simmer the Sun documentation team over a low heat for twenty minutes"
	- Bob Dowling, comp.unix.solaris

"Once the game is over, the king and the pawn go into the same box"
	- Italian proverb

"UNIX... Its big... Its alive... and its EVIL!"
	- Phillip M. Hallam-Baker

">I find reading the BOFH files as meditations to be extremely calming.
It works even better if you read it as a text book."
	- Frank "backs up to /dev/null in practically no time at all" Stuart

"Is there a parallel universe where the pubs and clubs and offices and
internet are full of females?"
	- Dave Griffiths, uk.singles

"We the unwilling, led by the unknowing, are doing the impossible, for
the ungrateful".
	- Anon

"However, When you are up to your ass in alligators it is difficult to
remind yourself your initial objective was to drain the swamp."
	- possum, alt.sysadmin.recovery

"> Microsoft had no plans to fix this.
I have no plans to buy MS-Mail."
	- Russell Nelson, comp.mail.mush

"> Administration utility of SunOs is ????
admintool, sometimes pronounced "vi"."
	- Jim Putnam, comp.unix.solaris

"Drag me, drop me, treat me like the object that I am."
	- Anon IBM programmer

"Christian Fundamentalism: The doctrine that there is an absolutely
powerful, infinitely knowledgeable, universe spanning entity that is
deeply and personally concerned about my sex life."
	- Andrew Lias

"If your installation of sendmail works right now...
DON'T FUCK WITH IT.  LEAVE IT ALONE.  IT *WILL* COME BACK AND TRY TO KILL
YOU."
	- Dave Brown, alt.sysadmin.recovery

">What do the rest of you like to listen to while hacking ?
The weeping and lamentations of the engineers as I ignore their
petty problems to focus on important stuff like compiling xv..."
	- Mike Suzio, alt.sysadmin.recovery

"It's always funny until someone gets hurt,
And then it's just hilarious"
	- Alex Whitehead, Dominion

": What are the precaution one must take before firing his sys admin?
Don't talk about it on The Net."
	- comp.unix.admin

"NIS+ I ignore, I dont need any more gothic fantasies."
	- Peter Evans, alt.sysadmin.recovery

"Programming is like sex: One mistake and you support it a lifetime."
	- Paul Sears, sig

"Life is like a cow.
You get out of it what you put in.
But, umm... different somehow."
	- Chris E. Becht, sig

"IRIX: If it doesn't draw a better dinosaur, then don't fix it."
	- Don Stokes, a.s.r

"The Faster You Go, The Wider You Splat."
	- Jos Shaw

"> I really must get myself a life. :)
I've tried looking for one myself, but all the ones I see are either too
small, too cheap or I can't afford them. A lot of them come in very dull
colours or fade after only a few washes. Some of them don't last much
beyond Easter. None of them are low-maintenance and few of them protect you
from injury. If you find any decent ones, let me know where you got 'em."
	- Me, email

"The average woman would probably rather have beauty than brains. The reason
for this is that the average man can see better than he can think."
	- Amy Ward, a.s.r

"Watership Down - you've read the book, seen the film.  Now eat the cast."

"ln -s yourbankaccount mybankaccount"
	- Jerry Carlin, a.s.r

"We seem to be buying sgi's like there is no tomorrow. Im sure it
keeps the local sgi rep neck deep in prostitutes."
	- Peter Evans, a.s.r

"The Nephilim seem to be interested in such things as reconcilating heaven
and hell within; the Sisters are simply pissed off."
	- Milo, Dominion

"Windows pays the rent.  BSD serves the soul."
	- Mike Scher, a.s.r

"Just having an AOL account is not in and of itself a capital offense
on alt.peeves; but it instantly places you under suspicion of having a
room-temperature IQ."
	- Charlie Stross, alt.peeves

"It's all fun and games til somebody loses an eye--then you can play
marbles!"

"Due to the water shortage our beer is now up to full strength...."
	- Guy Ruth Hammond, uk.people.gothic

"Television is called a medium because it is rarely well-done."

"Hey! It compiles! Ship it!"
	- Kyle Hearn explains modern software engineering

"Just remember - wild hostility is 100% good birth control."
	- Graydon Saunders

"Perl is for people who need more mystery in their lives, in particular
a useful Perl script but no idea whatsoever how it works."
	- Chris Hall

"Your wisdom is like vision from the corner of the eye.
It seems to exist, but disappears when examined."
	- Zen-Master Greg Wheatley

[About hacking:]
"Some do this by using scripts that they do not understand to break into
the computers of people who have not installed a new version of
sendmail in the last 4 years.
Some do this by writing scripts to break into the computers of people
who have not installed a new version of sendmail in the last 3 weeks.
Some do this by writing sendmail."
	- Neil Readwin

"I don't care who you are, Fatty - get them reindeer off my roof!"

"There is no owing between friends."
	- [Source unknown]

"I like my humans like I like my coffee:
Stuffed in an air tight bag and all the air sucked out until it collapses
down and squeezes them into a hard little brick."
	- Dennis McClain-Furmanski

User: "There's nothing interesting on Usenet.  It's all mindless crap,
       and as one of the larger Internet providers, you *must* take liability
       for this!"

":Do I smell PP here?
Yes, you probably can smell it from there..."
	- Gary Barnes, a.s.r

"When I first started working with sendmail, I was convinced that the
 cf file had been created by someone bashing their head on the keyboard.
 After a week, I realised this was, indeed, almost certainly the case"
	- attribution forgotten ...

"So what exactly is patriotism, other than an excuse to
get killed in a poorly planned land war?"
	- Armando Iannucci

"If he's so keen on the messianic trip, perhaps he could
simply arrange to be nailed to something in public."
	- Jon Wallis on Michael Jackson, uk.media

"** Tell the users you love them. say it with flowers.**
                 **Send them a Triffid**"
	- Ned Brickley, a.s.r

'Family values is a code phrase meaning "supression of minority
lifestyles" just as, say, "law and order" means "pro racial
discrimination".'
 
"Funny how self-righteous people always end their articles with
a saccharine, smarmy salutation."  - Howard A. Faye

"[You] wouldn't know "truth" if it dropped out of the wet rainy sky
onto your face and started to wriggle."
	- Scott Wilson, seattle.general

Colvard's Logical Premises:
        All probabilities are 50%.  Either a thing will happen or it
        won't.
Colvard's Unconscionable Commentary:
        This is especially true when dealing with someone you're
        attracted to.
Grelb's Commentary
        Likelihoods, however, are 90% against you.

"A handsome woman would be English to the neck, French to the waist and
Dutch below."
	- Anon, 17th Century

"Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever."
	- Brian Spolarich

"If you love someone, set them free. If they don't come back, hunt them
down and kill them."

"Nowadays my militancy consists of sitting in front of the news
saying 'bastards' periodically"
	- Jeremy Hardy

"MCDONALD'S COULD SMEAR SHIT ON A SHINGLE, PACKAGE IT WITH A COKE AND
LARGE FRIES, AND SELL IT ALL DAY LONG."
	- bork, alt.mcdonalds

"There are 2 kinds of people: those who finish what they start."
	- Nick Bensema, alt.fan.warlord

"REMEMBER : a double bagged bell end is a safe bank account."
	- Adam Colebrook expounds on the joy of children

"Let us pray:
What a Great System.
Please Do Not Crash."
	- Bryan O'Sullivan, comp.unix.solaris

"Graham had decided to postpone sex until marriage. That way,
he figured, there would be a better chance of a woman being involved."
	- GeorgeS, misc.consumers.frugal-living

"Remember the Great Folk Music scare of the Sixties?
That s*** almost caught on!"
	- Steve Martin

"At my company, we are of one mind on this subject, and that mind is blank."
"The only difference between this place and the Titanic is they had a
band!"
"A cynic is an idealist who's tired."
"To my previous Boss of 3 painful years: I worship the ground that awaits
you."
"In my organization, if you're not part of the problem, you're working
without supervision."
	- www.myboss.com

"I think one of the most important things I've learned
is that 'duck' is a verb."
	- CNN reporter

"Reengineering a company is a bit like performing an appendectomy on
yourself. It hurts quite a bit, you might not know exactly how to do it,
and there's a good chance you won't survive it. But if it does work, you'll
gain enough confidence to go after some of the more vital organs, such as
that big red pumping thing."
	- "The Dilbert Principle", Scott Adams

"She will fuck you like she never fucked you before."
	- Paul L. Allen gives divorce advice in demon.local

"We all enter this world in the same way: naked;
screaming; soaked in blood. But if you live your life right,
that kind of thing doesn't have to stop there."
	- Dana Gould

">"In a weak sense, it is a form of Unix," [Bill Gates] added.
Yeah, and in a weak sense, throwing the PC out of the window is a form
of portable computing."
	- Leonardo Serni, comp.unix.solaris

"[In a thread about the Spice Girls:]
|>Doesn't stop me from fancying the black one rotten though...
really??!? I'd prefer her alive and healthy myself!"
	- Java G, uk.people.gothic

"Or, as we say in Texas. I'll bet he couldn't pour piss out of a boot with
instuctions on the heel..."
	- Nick Schepis, alt.guitar.amps

"When she opens her mouth, it seems that this is only to change 
whichever foot was previously in there."

"Obscenity is whatever gives a judge an erection" - Anon US Lawyer

"His lack of education is more than compensated for by his keenly developed
moral bankruptcy."
	- Woody Allen

"There's a fine line between genius and insanity. I have erased this line."
	- Oscar Levant (1906-1972)

"If a man talks in the woods and no woman is there to hear him - is he
still wrong?"

"God created silk so women could be naked when fully clothed."
	- E7, Dominion

"I may have a small organ but it's never played in a cathedral before."

"When your hammer is C++, everything looks like a thumb."
	- Steve Haflich

"I'd like to meet the person who invented sex and find out what the latest
project is."
	- E7

"The stone age was marked by mans clever use of crude tools,
 the information age, however, is marked by mans crude use of clever tools."

"Firewalls don't know the difference between a virus, a Trojan Horse, or
Windows NT." -- An advertising brochure from DataLynx, Inc. ("SECURITY
THROUGH STRENGTH")
 - Not even when one of them is obviously a massive security risk?

"If you're stupid enough to use Windows, you deserve to pay for software."
	- sig file

"If you're done with sin, come on in!
(If not, call Mandy on ...)"
	- Graffiti outside church, USA.

"The day Microsoft produce something that does not suck will be the day
they produce a vacuum cleaner."
	- Ben's friend

"The only reason your brain is bigger than your nostril is to stop it
falling out."
"I'd love to fuck your brains out, but it appears that someone has beaten
me to it."
"Darling," he murmured. "You look beautiful with the sunlight streaming
through your ears."
	- Me

"Reality is so pants if your imagination is huge!!!"
	- Mary-Lou

"Find a good modem manual w/a copy of the AT and ext-AT command sets.
Carry it around with you. 
Girls love that, right? Or am i missing something :)?"
	- aheitner, Slashdot

"Insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different
results..."
	- Unknown, from Slashdot

"In every hierarchy the cream rises until it sours."
	- Dr. Laurence J. Peter 

"In Christianity neither morality nor religion come into contact
with reality at any point."
	- Friedrich Nietzsche

"NT...the last two letters of bowel movement"
	- Cpt Kirks, Slashdot

"Political speeches are like steer horns. A point here, a point there,
and a lot of bull inbetween."
	- Alfred E. Neuman

"[Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day;] give a man dynamite and
soon the village will be showered with mud and rocks and unrecognisable
bits of fish."
     -- Peter Gutmann, a.s.r

"If at first you don't succeed, you're doing about average."
     -- Leonard Levinson

"Michael has worked in hardware technical support for ten years, and has
therefore learned that anything is possible when you force it."
	-- Michael Wilkinson's bio

"A computer without Windows is like a chocolate cake without mustard."
	-- Martin Mares' sig

"Girls are always running through my mind. They don't dare walk."
	-- Andy Gibb

"Love is an ideal thing, marriage a real thing; a confusion of the real
with the ideal never goes unpunished."
	-- Goethe 

"I may be wild, but I'm not crazy."
	-- Adriaan den Braber, Elsevier

"SETI: The Search for Extra-Terrestrial Intelligence -- a rational
response to the near-extinction of the terrestrial variety."

"Man and wife make one fool."

"No matter how cynical you get, it's impossible to keep up."

"Whatever hits the fan will not be evenly distributed."

"In My Egotistical Opinion, most people's C programs should be indented
six feet downward and covered with dirt."
	-- Blair P. Houghton

"Most software almost works."
	-- Me

"...A simple glance can lead to the mystery of sex and the miracle of
abortion..."
	-- http://www.oldmanmurray.com/RNA1999-07.WCS

"...But then, those licenses could say "end user agrees to eat only live
mealworms for a year after opening the Software" and most of us would
never notice."
	-- Squid on s/w licenses,
http://flyingmice.com/squid/amiga/amiga_articles.shtml